cancer sucks

cancer.  it's a word we all hear way too much these days.  it's a word that people can't understand until it hits home.  until it's a loved one saying "i have cancer".  it's a word that has literally brought me to my knees, weeping, and asking God for answers and understanding.

just over a week ago one of my dearest friends---a kindred spirit kinda friend---told me that she had just been diagnosed with melanoma cancer.  stage two.  hearing those words....i couldn't breathe.  i know people say that but i truly couldn't catch my breath.  i sat on the arm of my chair gasping for air.  and then the uncontrollable tears began to flow as i spoke with her over the phone.  i could feel the pain, the fear, and the anger in her voice.  all i wanted to do was to take it away.  i am a fixer.  it's in my nature to do whatever i can to make things better.  i can't fix this.  we are 867.20s mile apart.  i can't even hug her.

after we got off the phone i had to share the news with my husband.  i told him how helpless i feel.  and how frustrated i am that i can't fix this.  i can't take this away from her.  nothing i can do will make this better or easier.  he quickly told me i was wrong.  that there IS something i can do.  and reminded me how simple the answer was.  pray.  prayer has power.  prayer has a way of cancelling out 867.20 miles.  prayer has a way of wrapping my arms around her and hugging her.

my friend; you know who you are.  i am on my knees in prayer for you.  when you feel a sudden sense of peace, know it's me praying for you (it's me hugging you from 867.20 miles away!!)  i have said this before and i will say it again.  i believe in a God who is a healer.  and he loves you.  he loves you more than I love you!  and he wants to give us the desires of our hearts.  the desire of my heart is to hear "cancer-free".  and i will stand in the gap for you my friend until we hear those words.

cancer is a scary word...but my God is BIGGER than cancer.  my God can make the lame walk, the dead rise, the barren with child.  my God can, has, and WILL heal.  I believe it with all my heart.